today, i'll be discussing "thinking of you". ya know, that song where katy perry does a frighteningly accurate impersonation of alanis morisette?
i think the reason i like it so much is because the subject matter adresses my most biggest fear at the moment; banging someone new only to find out that your ex was really way better. since i absolutely refuse to download anything by katy perry, i only ever listen to this song in the car. when it comes on the radio, you can generally find me white-knuckling my steering wheel and shaking in terror, with just the faintest sparkle of a tear at the corner of my eye. i know this sounds a bit unpleasant, but it's actually a weird, sort of adrenaline rush type thing, like how people watch horror movies because they kinda like being scared.
in any case, way to go katy perry! you've actually made a song that doesn't make me wanna rip out your vocal chords on behalf of all womankind.
love always
p.s. check out the video as well, in which ms. perry pretends that her ex is dead, as if the song isn't about her being a foolish slut. really katy, i can relate to the foolish slut thing, the dead boyfriend, not so much.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
oh the weather outside is frightful
which means that it's time for me to face the awful truth about what happened on abdc this week. i will do my best to keep my cool while relaying this sad series of events.
first of all, i could tell it was gonna be a shitshow when they started off with an opening number. the opening number on abdc signifies the start of many bad decisions. among them, the decision to eliminate fish 'n' chicks in the first season, which takes the cake for my most devastating abdc moment ever. in traditional opening number fashion, the choreography was beyond cheesy. it literally hurt my eyes to watch.
after the opening number came a really sweet performance by quest crew, during which i came to an important realization about why i like this crew so much. have you ever seen the movie hook? if you haven't, please watch it immediately. if you have, you'll feel me on this. quest crew is the new incarnation of the lost boys. d-trix even has the same hairdo as rufio.
after quest crew, beatfreaks went off!!!! again. seriously ladies, spice it up a bit. at this rate, you're gonna win the show- no contest. now, where's the fun in that?
here's where the trouble starts.
strikers all-stars and fly khicks are in the bottom two. i was cool with fly khicks when they beat the ringmasters but since then, they've been in the bottom three motherfucking times! doesn't that tell you something?
strikers had it tough. they were given a shitty song (pose by daddy yankee), and then asked to emulate the video, which is miles away from the type of dance they normally do. so to begin with, the boys are out of their element. then, in the middle of the routine my boyfriend mike (you know, the one who ditched obama for mtv) fucks up and does this ridiculous spinny airplane move because he can't find his place. the judges give him hell for it. then, right before they cut to break, they show him backstage pacing around, totally freaked that he just screwed the whole thing up for his crew.
you can already tell this is going to end badly.
at this point, i'm praying for strikers. hoping that fly khicks at least get a shitty song too, you know, to level the playing field. of course they don't.
they get pon de replay by rihanna, and then they show them backstage talking about how they have to wind like rihanna. winding? really? i came out of the womb knowing how to wind, and that's their challenge?
so, the girls come out and wind flawlessly, as if that's actually a difficult thing to do. during the judges commentary shane is like "yo, you dance like my sister buffy." my point exactly shane.
then there's this whole thing about how fly khicks is getting back to their roots by wearing baggy jeans. alright, listen bitches, the only thing i have ever seen you wear is booty shorts and bras. even with your baggy jeans you're wearing bras. could you please try to be beatfreaks just a little harder. maybe while you're at it you could take some dance lessons.
i think you already know what happens next.
when they announce that the judges chose to keep fly khicks instead of strikers, the girl stading in the front for fly khicks is like "what?!". even they were dumbfounded that they got to stay.
meanwhile, poor baby mike from strikers is biting his lip trying so hard not to cry on national tv. seriously though mike, i just want you to know, everyone messes up, and you are still a truly fine specimen of a man. if you need a shoulder to cry on, you know where to find me.
actually, i was getting a bit teary myself. the idea that i have to look at fly khicks again for another week is truly devastating to me. i swear to god if they make it into the top two, i'm breaking up with abdc.
then again, i think i say that every season.
love always
first of all, i could tell it was gonna be a shitshow when they started off with an opening number. the opening number on abdc signifies the start of many bad decisions. among them, the decision to eliminate fish 'n' chicks in the first season, which takes the cake for my most devastating abdc moment ever. in traditional opening number fashion, the choreography was beyond cheesy. it literally hurt my eyes to watch.
after the opening number came a really sweet performance by quest crew, during which i came to an important realization about why i like this crew so much. have you ever seen the movie hook? if you haven't, please watch it immediately. if you have, you'll feel me on this. quest crew is the new incarnation of the lost boys. d-trix even has the same hairdo as rufio.
after quest crew, beatfreaks went off!!!! again. seriously ladies, spice it up a bit. at this rate, you're gonna win the show- no contest. now, where's the fun in that?
here's where the trouble starts.
strikers all-stars and fly khicks are in the bottom two. i was cool with fly khicks when they beat the ringmasters but since then, they've been in the bottom three motherfucking times! doesn't that tell you something?
strikers had it tough. they were given a shitty song (pose by daddy yankee), and then asked to emulate the video, which is miles away from the type of dance they normally do. so to begin with, the boys are out of their element. then, in the middle of the routine my boyfriend mike (you know, the one who ditched obama for mtv) fucks up and does this ridiculous spinny airplane move because he can't find his place. the judges give him hell for it. then, right before they cut to break, they show him backstage pacing around, totally freaked that he just screwed the whole thing up for his crew.
you can already tell this is going to end badly.
at this point, i'm praying for strikers. hoping that fly khicks at least get a shitty song too, you know, to level the playing field. of course they don't.
they get pon de replay by rihanna, and then they show them backstage talking about how they have to wind like rihanna. winding? really? i came out of the womb knowing how to wind, and that's their challenge?
so, the girls come out and wind flawlessly, as if that's actually a difficult thing to do. during the judges commentary shane is like "yo, you dance like my sister buffy." my point exactly shane.
then there's this whole thing about how fly khicks is getting back to their roots by wearing baggy jeans. alright, listen bitches, the only thing i have ever seen you wear is booty shorts and bras. even with your baggy jeans you're wearing bras. could you please try to be beatfreaks just a little harder. maybe while you're at it you could take some dance lessons.
i think you already know what happens next.
when they announce that the judges chose to keep fly khicks instead of strikers, the girl stading in the front for fly khicks is like "what?!". even they were dumbfounded that they got to stay.
meanwhile, poor baby mike from strikers is biting his lip trying so hard not to cry on national tv. seriously though mike, i just want you to know, everyone messes up, and you are still a truly fine specimen of a man. if you need a shoulder to cry on, you know where to find me.
actually, i was getting a bit teary myself. the idea that i have to look at fly khicks again for another week is truly devastating to me. i swear to god if they make it into the top two, i'm breaking up with abdc.
then again, i think i say that every season.
love always
Saturday, February 21, 2009
surpirse, surprise. i'm sick again....
for the past couple of weeks, i have been on-and-off sick. today and yesterday have been an all-time low. it's hard for me to accept being ill, especially when it means staying home and recuperating and especially in the midst of such an exciting time in my life. what this means is that i've been attempting to go out and live like the healthy, but i'm not quite there. i'm only giving fifty percent. i'm like a zombie, going through all the motions but not really feelin it.
oh, and i'm in bed early. like, really early.
you'd think that all this rest and relaxation would give me a perfect opportunity to sit down and write something, but it hasn't. i'm bored! if anything, this mellow time has only strengthened my resolve to get out and do something. anything. many things. but all of them real, raw and honest.
however, as they say, every grey cloud has a silver lining. so i'd like to give a shot-out to all my silver linings.
like how nice it is to have friends who you feel close enough with that you can temporarily move your sick bed over to their place, and then lay around in your pjs watching movies.
or how good it feels to make up with someone, even though you still disagree with each other, because you love each other enough to not have to agree.
most importantly, finding a sense of comfort in yourself, whether you're sick or not.
love always
oh, and i'm in bed early. like, really early.
you'd think that all this rest and relaxation would give me a perfect opportunity to sit down and write something, but it hasn't. i'm bored! if anything, this mellow time has only strengthened my resolve to get out and do something. anything. many things. but all of them real, raw and honest.
however, as they say, every grey cloud has a silver lining. so i'd like to give a shot-out to all my silver linings.
like how nice it is to have friends who you feel close enough with that you can temporarily move your sick bed over to their place, and then lay around in your pjs watching movies.
or how good it feels to make up with someone, even though you still disagree with each other, because you love each other enough to not have to agree.
most importantly, finding a sense of comfort in yourself, whether you're sick or not.
love always
Friday, February 20, 2009
they're fucking with me, i just know it.
this weeks episode of abdc was such a travesty, that i'm going to have to ask you to just bear with me for a few days until i calm down and am able to write about it without BUGGING THE FUCK OUT!!!
now, if you'll excuse me for that small outburst, i'd like to say that aside from abdc, i'm really quite pleased with the way things have been working out lately. i had a lovely tasting this evening at my newest account, kaman's. i was chatty and bubbly and most importantly, i sold things, which always puts a smile on my face.
even better, i stood up to my ex-boyfriend today, which is truly a cause for celebration. normally, i'd drink champagne, but even more impressively, i've quit drinking for the week.
cheers!
love always
now, if you'll excuse me for that small outburst, i'd like to say that aside from abdc, i'm really quite pleased with the way things have been working out lately. i had a lovely tasting this evening at my newest account, kaman's. i was chatty and bubbly and most importantly, i sold things, which always puts a smile on my face.
even better, i stood up to my ex-boyfriend today, which is truly a cause for celebration. normally, i'd drink champagne, but even more impressively, i've quit drinking for the week.
cheers!
love always
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
growing pains
a few days ago, i was peeing in my friend steff's bathroom, when the most recent issue of spin caught my eye. i picked it up, intrigued by the image on the cover; an impossibly skinny brunette, with a gawdy hairpiece and loads of makeup.
"who the fuck is this?!" i asked of steff
"lily allen" she answered.
i looked at the magazine again, comparing the porcelain doll on the cover to my mind's image of what lily allen is supposed to look like.
"why'd she lose so much weight?" is all i could think to say.
"she's really insecure" steff answered "she talks about it in the interview. it kinda made me like her more"
a few days later, i downloaded her new album it's not me, it's you. to be honest i was still a bit distressed by that photograph. since when did lily allen so uncanilly resemble katy perry? i loved her in her prom dress and sneakers, and i wanted her to stay that way.
listening to the album, i felt the same way all over again. i had become addicted to alright still after a traumatic breakup. every song was a gem, with some fantastically clever line hidden in the center. i had loved how simple and blunt and bratty it all was. on the new album, everything sounds shiny and glittery and polished.
in short, it bothered me. in fact, it bothered me so much that i felt compelled to listen to the album for as many times as it took for me to figure out why exactly it was so bothersome. it seemed most apparent on songs like not fair and never gonna happen. the kind of boy-bashing anthems that made alright still such a fun album in the first place. they were missing something. a spark, a flame, an emotion, anything. then it occured to me: she's lost her swagger.
immediately, i fashed back to what steff had said about how insecure she was and it all made sense. i've been through the same exact thing. you think you're tough shit, and then for whatever reason you fall off and you keep trying to get back up again, but it's lost. you can't repeat being naive enough to feel invincible, no matter how hard you try.
then again, who would want to? what lily allen seems to be experiencing is that heartwrenching process we like to call growing up and when taken for what it is, it's not me, it's you is a painfully accurate documentation of that. on everyone's at it she dissects that moment when drugs start to look gross rather than glamorous. chinese finds her playing house, and actually preferring it to all the hustle and bustle of her celebrity lifestyle. and in back to the start she reaches new levels of maturity by admitting to a friend that she acted like a catty bitch because she was jealous.
i still think that the dry british humor she's so well known for is a bit lacking on this album, but on the whole, it's quite endearing, and more importantly, relatable.
so i guess i owe lily allen a big huge apology. i'm sorry it took me so long to accept the fact that you're growing up. all i can say in my defense is that it's taken me longer to accept the fact that i'm growing up as well. i guess we all are.
love always
"who the fuck is this?!" i asked of steff
"lily allen" she answered.
i looked at the magazine again, comparing the porcelain doll on the cover to my mind's image of what lily allen is supposed to look like.
"why'd she lose so much weight?" is all i could think to say.
"she's really insecure" steff answered "she talks about it in the interview. it kinda made me like her more"
a few days later, i downloaded her new album it's not me, it's you. to be honest i was still a bit distressed by that photograph. since when did lily allen so uncanilly resemble katy perry? i loved her in her prom dress and sneakers, and i wanted her to stay that way.
listening to the album, i felt the same way all over again. i had become addicted to alright still after a traumatic breakup. every song was a gem, with some fantastically clever line hidden in the center. i had loved how simple and blunt and bratty it all was. on the new album, everything sounds shiny and glittery and polished.
in short, it bothered me. in fact, it bothered me so much that i felt compelled to listen to the album for as many times as it took for me to figure out why exactly it was so bothersome. it seemed most apparent on songs like not fair and never gonna happen. the kind of boy-bashing anthems that made alright still such a fun album in the first place. they were missing something. a spark, a flame, an emotion, anything. then it occured to me: she's lost her swagger.
immediately, i fashed back to what steff had said about how insecure she was and it all made sense. i've been through the same exact thing. you think you're tough shit, and then for whatever reason you fall off and you keep trying to get back up again, but it's lost. you can't repeat being naive enough to feel invincible, no matter how hard you try.
then again, who would want to? what lily allen seems to be experiencing is that heartwrenching process we like to call growing up and when taken for what it is, it's not me, it's you is a painfully accurate documentation of that. on everyone's at it she dissects that moment when drugs start to look gross rather than glamorous. chinese finds her playing house, and actually preferring it to all the hustle and bustle of her celebrity lifestyle. and in back to the start she reaches new levels of maturity by admitting to a friend that she acted like a catty bitch because she was jealous.
i still think that the dry british humor she's so well known for is a bit lacking on this album, but on the whole, it's quite endearing, and more importantly, relatable.
so i guess i owe lily allen a big huge apology. i'm sorry it took me so long to accept the fact that you're growing up. all i can say in my defense is that it's taken me longer to accept the fact that i'm growing up as well. i guess we all are.
love always
Saturday, February 14, 2009
this is what us single folk do on valentine's
yet again, i am uber-late with the abdc update. can you tell that this new-england winter shit is really getting to me? it's like my cells are actually freezing, so that they're susupended, or moving in slow-motion or something. therefore, it is quite easy for me to lay around watching crappy tv, but formulating an actual opinion on it and then articulating that opinion is another thing entirely.
nevertheless, i will attempt it.
beatfreaks, i love you gals so much! especially adorable marys, who dedicated her performance to her late brother, who so sadly passed away before he even turned 18. after the performance, they showed her backstage telling her crew "i love you guys so much. you're my family." in her sweet accent. now, i really want her to be my new best friend.
also, this week i like beatfreaks better than quest crew again, because quest crew's performance was kinda whack.
strikers all-stars also gave kind of a weak performance, but they totally made up for it by being SEXY AS FUCK.
fly khicks and dynamic addition had to battle it out at the end, and y'all know how i feel about both these crews, but lo and behold, the cloggers actually learned how to dance! i've never seen clay aiken look so gangsta!
of course, as soon as i decide to like them they go and get eliminated. all because fly khicks know how to do splits in their booty shorts.
typical, abdc, so fucking typical.
love always
nevertheless, i will attempt it.
beatfreaks, i love you gals so much! especially adorable marys, who dedicated her performance to her late brother, who so sadly passed away before he even turned 18. after the performance, they showed her backstage telling her crew "i love you guys so much. you're my family." in her sweet accent. now, i really want her to be my new best friend.
also, this week i like beatfreaks better than quest crew again, because quest crew's performance was kinda whack.
strikers all-stars also gave kind of a weak performance, but they totally made up for it by being SEXY AS FUCK.
fly khicks and dynamic addition had to battle it out at the end, and y'all know how i feel about both these crews, but lo and behold, the cloggers actually learned how to dance! i've never seen clay aiken look so gangsta!
of course, as soon as i decide to like them they go and get eliminated. all because fly khicks know how to do splits in their booty shorts.
typical, abdc, so fucking typical.
love always
Thursday, February 12, 2009
this is too good to wait till later
oh my word! the best thing ever has finally happened. mike jones is making a comeback!
my faith in the universe has been restored! i am convinced it is a sign from the heavens that a new era is dawning.
also, i love the new song by soulja boy kiss me through the phone. it is fantastically cheesey that i cannot help myself from becoming hopelessly addicted.
love always
my faith in the universe has been restored! i am convinced it is a sign from the heavens that a new era is dawning.
also, i love the new song by soulja boy kiss me through the phone. it is fantastically cheesey that i cannot help myself from becoming hopelessly addicted.
love always
Sunday, February 8, 2009
back from the grave
it's been so freaking long since i've updated, but i swear, i have an excuse! i've been sick and cranky and trust me, non one should have to hear from me when i'm in that sort of a state. now, i'm almost all better and i have just one thing to say:
in regards to thursday's abdc episode, thank you god! i am certain that you heard my fervent prayers to have the ringmasters eliminated, and you have so graciously chosen to answer them. all i can do is express my unending gratitude for this small miracle, because watching those dudes was starting to make me nauseous.
yes, despite the fact that i was sick as shit, i did literally jump for joy when they announced that. also, since it was fly khicks that won the battle, i must say, i might be able to tolerate these bitches just a tiny bit more from now on.
other than that, it was a pretty uneventful show, all the crews that are usually good were still good
oh, wait! there was one more thing. the cloggers (dynamic addition) SMASHED IT! THEY SMASHED IT!
granted, mtv did kinda throw them a bone by allowing them to dance to achy-breaky heart, which is totally their favorite song ever, but still, they were pretty freaking flawless. way to go clay aiken!
poor beat freaks! they had to dance to pretty fly for a white guy.
in totally unrelated news, my friend made me watch hancock last night. i was not all that psyched about it, but it actually turned out to be really good. you should totally check it out.
love always
in regards to thursday's abdc episode, thank you god! i am certain that you heard my fervent prayers to have the ringmasters eliminated, and you have so graciously chosen to answer them. all i can do is express my unending gratitude for this small miracle, because watching those dudes was starting to make me nauseous.
yes, despite the fact that i was sick as shit, i did literally jump for joy when they announced that. also, since it was fly khicks that won the battle, i must say, i might be able to tolerate these bitches just a tiny bit more from now on.
other than that, it was a pretty uneventful show, all the crews that are usually good were still good
oh, wait! there was one more thing. the cloggers (dynamic addition) SMASHED IT! THEY SMASHED IT!
granted, mtv did kinda throw them a bone by allowing them to dance to achy-breaky heart, which is totally their favorite song ever, but still, they were pretty freaking flawless. way to go clay aiken!
poor beat freaks! they had to dance to pretty fly for a white guy.
in totally unrelated news, my friend made me watch hancock last night. i was not all that psyched about it, but it actually turned out to be really good. you should totally check it out.
love always
Monday, February 2, 2009
lifestyles of the young and reckless
i had such a fabulous weekend this past weekend, that i kept waking up in the middle of the night on sunday, just to mourn the fact that it was over.
as i mentioned before, my weekend started with an extensive sherry tasting on friday, accompanied by assorted spanish treats, such as marcona almonds, serrano ham, and the most amazing garlicky olives ever. the tasting was led by a seriously charming spaniard, who simultaneously had a british and spanish accent. technically, this event was a "sales meeting", but halfway through it, i was feeling so light and fuzzy that i drunk-texted everyone i was mad at, and made up with them right then and there.
post sherry extravaganza, i napped, bubble-bathed and pretty much luxuriated in every way possible, so i woke feeling happy and refreshed on saturday morning. i hit the gym to burn off some of those extra pork-fat calories, and then treated myself (along with heater and her adorable daughter) to a delicious lunch of fresh spring rolls, coconut soup, and spicy-steak salad. afterwards, heather suggested that we go shopping at marshalls, where i picked up three pairs of the cutest sunglasses i've ever seen, including these bad boys:
i also got a pair of professional looking, black kors pants, a sheer white tee, a pink, halter-top bubble dress, sexy boyfriend jeans, and tweed pants from the limited in their cassidy fit, which is my fav. as we were ringing up our purchases, i realized i was late for my hair appointment, so i hightailed it to the angry chair , where i got the best haircut/dye job ever, courtesy of dan, who's a real cutie. check it:
when i arrived home from the salon a million hours later, there was a dinner party in full swing at my humble abode. i spent the evening eating delicious food and having some very entertaining conversation with just a few of my most favorite people.
i woke up early on sunday and just barely managed to make it to the gym again, before i had to help sarah shop for her super-bowl party. we then went back to her house and proceeded to make quacamole, buffalo wings with bleu cheese dip, some really tasty snack mix, artichoke dip and ceasar-deviled eggs. steff and vinnie arrived around 4 with yet another dip, one of my favorites, cream cheese, chilli and melted cheddar. we started pouring pink punch and before i knew it, i was once again in a food/booze induced stupor. unfortunately, all the fabulocity became a bit overwhelming and i had to call it an early night before the super-bowl even ended (not that i was paying attention to it anyway).
i then fell into a fitful sleep and dreamed of being on a permanent vacation....
as i mentioned before, my weekend started with an extensive sherry tasting on friday, accompanied by assorted spanish treats, such as marcona almonds, serrano ham, and the most amazing garlicky olives ever. the tasting was led by a seriously charming spaniard, who simultaneously had a british and spanish accent. technically, this event was a "sales meeting", but halfway through it, i was feeling so light and fuzzy that i drunk-texted everyone i was mad at, and made up with them right then and there.
post sherry extravaganza, i napped, bubble-bathed and pretty much luxuriated in every way possible, so i woke feeling happy and refreshed on saturday morning. i hit the gym to burn off some of those extra pork-fat calories, and then treated myself (along with heater and her adorable daughter) to a delicious lunch of fresh spring rolls, coconut soup, and spicy-steak salad. afterwards, heather suggested that we go shopping at marshalls, where i picked up three pairs of the cutest sunglasses i've ever seen, including these bad boys:
i also got a pair of professional looking, black kors pants, a sheer white tee, a pink, halter-top bubble dress, sexy boyfriend jeans, and tweed pants from the limited in their cassidy fit, which is my fav. as we were ringing up our purchases, i realized i was late for my hair appointment, so i hightailed it to the angry chair , where i got the best haircut/dye job ever, courtesy of dan, who's a real cutie. check it:
when i arrived home from the salon a million hours later, there was a dinner party in full swing at my humble abode. i spent the evening eating delicious food and having some very entertaining conversation with just a few of my most favorite people.
i woke up early on sunday and just barely managed to make it to the gym again, before i had to help sarah shop for her super-bowl party. we then went back to her house and proceeded to make quacamole, buffalo wings with bleu cheese dip, some really tasty snack mix, artichoke dip and ceasar-deviled eggs. steff and vinnie arrived around 4 with yet another dip, one of my favorites, cream cheese, chilli and melted cheddar. we started pouring pink punch and before i knew it, i was once again in a food/booze induced stupor. unfortunately, all the fabulocity became a bit overwhelming and i had to call it an early night before the super-bowl even ended (not that i was paying attention to it anyway).
i then fell into a fitful sleep and dreamed of being on a permanent vacation....
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