my heart will always live here

this past week has been exactly everything i could've asked for when leaving the place i grew up. it was like all the things i love about being here happened in rapid succession, like the finale at the fireworks display. i will try my best to show you:
rose-petal-lychee-tini and cucumber martini at koji

tavern classic and truffle fries at plan b

mmm, cherries....

chicken tacos

vietnamese iced coffee

the durham fair, a ct classic

trade shows every two seconds

and of course every hug, every sad goodbye, every last second i got to spend with all the folks i love. see you all at xmas!

love always

retail therapy

i know that the west hartford whole foods has way more stuff, but for some reason, the whole foods in glastonbury is my favorite. it feels somehow warmer. the lighting is less harsh and the merchandising is cleaner. plus, i'm there so often that all the boys who work in produce know me by name. i truly do have a deep, sentimental attachment to the place. it borders on freakish.
in all my moving-out-of-state madness, i felt it was important for me to pay tribute to the place where i've spent such a large majority of my time and money over the last couple years. so, i did what i usually do, which is go to whole foods, buy some stuff and make something.
my purchases. i decided to go with a salad, since i've been eating so much garbage lately (more on that later).

butter lettuce and cilantro

tossed with diced tomato, raw corn kernels, black beans, diced poblano pepper, and finely chopped onion. plus, a dressing made of fage, a bit of honey, some chipotle in adobo and lime juice.

i topped it all off with some diced aguacate for richness. you could also add some shredded cheddar or crumbled bacon, but like i said, i've been eating trash all week.

this is totally one of my favorite salads ever. it tastes really good and everything in it is really clean and good for you. i know that i'll still be able to make it once i move, but the fact that it comes from my original, hometown grocery store, makes it extra-special in my opinion.

love always

if you never read this, i still mean it

have you ever found yourself wishing you could have a do-over? a second try at something that just didn't go your way?
last week i received an e-mail saying thank you for sharing your obvious passion for wine with us, after an interview in which i was caught terribly off-guard, and i couldn't help but wonder if it was perhaps, a bit sarcastic. in that moment, i found myself, for the first time as a result of fear, confusion and doubt, unable to articulate exactly how meaningful my chosen profession is to me.
over the years i have had many a revelatory experience in this field.
like on my first day at my first real wine job when i tasted the kim crawford sauvignon blanc and someone said grapefruit and i could actually taste that.
or how i thought that napa cab was a huge, overrated joke until i tasted the rich, heady terra valentine
or this moment when i tasted the cuvee louise from pommery and started to like my job again.
or the time when a friend and i ordered an entire bottle of anselmi i capitelli by the glass because it was just that freaking good.

the truth is, i am beyond passionate about wine, as anyone who has seen me run around a tasting shrieking "ohmigod, you have to try this!!!" can attest to. i'm emotionally attached in a way that borders on un-professional. and yes, there are days when i just wanna order a diet coke, but that's because i spend a good deal of time over-consuming, over-analyzing and over-working myself for the sake of what i do for a living.
if i was unable to convey this to a few select people, i would just like to state for the record: i love my job, i know my shit and if there's one thing i'm certainly not lacking, it's passion.

love always

sometimes you just know

ahh, what a crazy, mixed-up world we live in. nothing is ever as it seems, at least for any fixed length of time. things change and evolve, shifting shape right before your very eyes just when you think you've got it all figured out. sometimes a situation can seem so certain, so right, so meant to be and then wham! out of nowhere mercury retrograde comes sweeping through in all it's stubborn reluctance to let go of the past and you're left standing in the ruins of what you thought was a really fucking good idea.
such is the nature of things, and also, exactly what happened to me this past week. i waited so long and i was so cautious, taking care not to jinx any opportunities or count my eggs before they hatched, but still it all went up in flames and now i'm left confused and uncertain, trying to make sense of a situation that's been blown completely out of my control. what can you do in times like these but sit and wait? try and be still and listen to your heart.
when i flew to san francisco a few weeks ago, i believed i was going to there to make an impression, to influence a decision. instead, what i discovered while i was there is that the decision does not truly matter. while it may be difficult to discern underneath the fear and uncertainty about what my future holds, there is one thing my heart knows for sure; i absolutely adore the entire bay area.

every time i leave, i tell myself that i imagined it. that no place in the world is truly as magical as i remember that place being, that i'm embellishing the memory. but no, at this point i truly don't think i am. this past visit, while cruising around berkeley and trying to get a feel for my new home, i stumbled, literally stumbled, onto this amazing treasure trove: a farmer's market, the likes of which i have never even imagined here in CT. trust me when i tell you, it makes my beloved whole foods look like a joke.
tomatoes, like jewels in every shape, size and color imaginable

squash that look like spaceships and a completely new discovery, the lemon cucumber!

a rainbow of peppers that you could literally smell like, a block away.

after the farmer's market, in need of refreshment, we stopped at the nearest coffee shop/bakery. forgive me, i can't remember the name, but it was really the most adorable thing.

we ordered iced coffee and a pistachio macaroon!!!!


the macaroon was perfect! floaty and sugary on the outside with a layer of creamy goodness in the middle.

yup! it was the macaroon that made my mind up for me. this is the place i wanna live.

love always

goodbye middletown, hello berkeley

I've been holding off on posting because my mind as of late, has been occupied with some pretty huge news which i was not entirely certain would be a sure thing, but now it's official; i have been offered an amazing position with a large, respectable company in berkeley, and i will be moving to the bay area in approximately two weeks!!!!!!
as anyone would expect, i have a multitude of intense, deep-seeded, hard to decipher feelings regarding this change. i think it's been fairly obvious for quite some time that the small town i live in is not exactly the right place for me. that does not stop me however from feeling deeply attached to it, as well all the people who live here and who have shared and shaped my life for the past twenty-four years. there are aspects of being here which i will miss profoundly.

but as we all know, when one door closes, another inevitably opens and i cannot think of another place in the world where i would rather begin anew than the beautiful bay area. i hope that everyone who i was close with here in middletown will take the opportunity to come visit me in my new home and see exactly why i've become so enamored with this particular corner of the universe.

right now, it feels as if i've got one foot on the east coast and one on the west, as i search for new roommates, pack my old things and attempt to spend as much time as possible with the people whom i care about before i have to say goodbye. it is decidedly bitersweet; heart-wrenching, exciting, intoxicating, humbling, terrifying all at once, but there is no doubt in my mind that it is totally and completely right.
i searched for jobs high and low, on the east coast and the west and none, not one, worked out until this opportunity came along and showed me where i need to be. i had been sort of half-heartedly hoping to move west since i lost that evil job of which we no longer speak, but somehow the powers that be must have heard the half of my heart that wanted this and decided it was the right half because i literally could not have afforded to stay here even if i wanted to and when i visited berkeley a few days ago, i felt for the first time in years, at home in my own life.
middletown will always be my hometown and one of the best in the enitre world, simply because there are so many people here who have been so worth loving to the fullest extent of my ability. i promise to stay in touch and visit often and i hope you all know that i'll be keeping you with me, as close to my heart as possible as i embark on this new adventure.

love always