fluffems stylie

one of the best things about my vacation in puerto rico, was all the packing. i spent weeks figuring out what to bring, finding the perfect swimsuit, sundress, denim shorts, floppy hat...
what cracks me up, is that fluffems felt the exact same way. he even went so far as to insist that i take numerous different pictures of him, in each of his carefully selected getups, a task that i was more than happy to complete. fluffems' sense of style has become a source of great amusement to me. he is one of the few males i've ever encountered whose fashion risks rival my own.
in the beggining, i was a bit put off by some of the items in his wardrobe. i even went so far as throw away a few choice garments one day when he wasn't at home. since then, however, i've learned to accept his style for what it is. after all, i'd rather be seen with someone whose style clearly shows personality, even if it is a bit ridiculous at times, than someone who always looks bland and boring. in this way, i've come to think of his more, *ahem*, "outlandish" pieces as funny and endearing.
here's an example of a piece that would've ended up at the salvation army. yes, that is a pikachu t-shirt, and it was clearly made for someone about half his size and a quarter of his age.

in this ensemble fluff is trying to channel the spirit of a ten year old girl by simultaneously wearing knee-his and posing like he's in ballet class.

fluff was so excited to finally get to meet his style icon, zac effron. his brother ernie was pretty into it as well.

fluffems' style trademark is none other than the kangol. he has one in every single color known to man. he even has a department store style hat-rack, complete with fake heads, for storing them all.

i must admit, he does clean up pretty nicely, and he is kinda dreamy.



and last but not least, here is my favorite picture of fluff ever, ever, in which he proves how gangsta he really is, depsite the fact that he's wearing women's sunglasses (mine). also, he's wearing a bright blue bowtie which he decided was a good idea after seeing one on some kid from the disney channel. still though, he's a total badass. i doubt that there's anyone else in the world who could put on this same outfit and wear it with as much sauvidad as he can. in the end, that's one of the things i love about him the most. his style is always, one-hundred-percent, utterly and completely his own.

love always

p.s. thanks to k @ blog goggles for giving me the inspiration for this post.

R.I.P. M.J.

i was never a huge fan of michael jackson to be honest. when i was a kid, the video for thriller scared the bejesus out of me and i never quite forgave him for that. i do, however, have fond memories of this:

best dance video ever made!!!!!!!!! those who dare to disagree with me can kick rocks.


love always

p.s. - i totally forgot that eddie murphy was in this video, which makes it even better.

daddy's day

every year on father's day, i make my father dinner. i drive up to his apartment with my car full of groceries and force him to gorge himself on the type of greasy, bad-for-you fare that he normally attempts to stay away from. only this year, i can't. i can't make my dad dinner on father's day because he is no longer just a car ride away. he's in a strange and distant land otherwise known as california. so, while everyone i know is planning some sort of grand tribute to their fathers (or their baby's fathers), i'm left wishing that i got to spend father's day with my daddy.
you know how some people grew up taking their father's for granted? i never really had that problem. with a father like mine, that would be kind of impossible. my dad was everything a dad was supposed to be; practicing softball with me when i wanted to try out for little league, showing up to every single dance recital and school play i was ever in (trust me, there were many), hating on any boys who dared to think they might be good enough to date me. even when my parents split up, my father was never the absent type. he encouraged me, supported me and loved me through every awkward phase and minor drama exactly the way a good father should.
the most important thing my father did for me however, goes far beyond the realm of basic parental nurturing. in short, my father showed me how to live.
my father is, and always has been, a free spirit. never one to conform, he sold drugs in high school and wasted his college years on art. even crazier, he was the only man brave enough to impregnate my mom (she's a crazy bitch, but, you know, the good kind).
the thing is, my father could have so easily fallen into that whole flaky artist/slacker thing that's so common amongst the creative folk, but he didn't. my dad holds a steady, respectable job (i think his official title is evil computer genius), in addition to finding time for more fulfilling pursuits such as teaching pottery to teenagers, going rowing with his girlfriend and learning to speak spanish. and yes, he's still an amazing father, sometimes taking up to ten phone calls a day from my whiny ass.
i'm not saying that he's superman or anything, but my daddy ain't no slouch! he takes his responsibility as a human being very seriously. he operates with a firm concsience and an open heart. he does what he feels is right rather than making excuses to do what he wants when it's wrong. he communicates openly and honestly with the people he loves. and most importantly, he lives passionately, taking risks and daring to love deeply no matter how many times he's been hurt or knocked down.
in a world that can be at times, so harsh and so cold, i feel so infinitely grateful to have been blessed with such a strong male role model. in my most difficult and desperate moments, i look to my father as a reminder that love exists, that people can be good, and that it's possible to live a life outside the norms of society without giving up one's integrity and ambition.
i'm finally coming to a place in my life where i feel happy to be who i am. i look back at all the events that have led me here and i can't help but feel that i owe so much of my progress to my father. nobody else in this world could have raised me the way that he did. even though he's not here for me to say it to in person, i still feel like so lucky to have such an excellent father to honor today.

daddy, i miss you so much today. i wish i could spend father's day with you, but since i can't, my second wish is for you to know that i love you more than words could ever express.
happy father's day!!!!

love always

june gloom

lately, the weather in lovely ct has been absolutely poisonous. eerily dreary and stiflingly humid. just walking outside feels toxic. my friends keep getting sick and everyone looks like they have storm clouds under their eyes.
it's time like these i think, where i grow the most. stay indoors and curl up, into myself where i can remember the answers i already knew. feel the way my heart beats at the center.....
in other words, i feel all angsty and goth and emo and like, fourteen years old or something! wtf sun, why you gotta be all non-existent and shit?! get your ass in gear and shine on us before i start writing poetry again....
or indulging in crap like this:

or even worse, this:



love always

this is what my summer smells like...

(having actually received my order, i had to delete my last post and start all over. i did not feel that i truly did this topic justice.)
you know how they say that scent is the sense most closely tied to memory? for me, that idea explains a lot. i have a hard time letting go of my memories and i often use scent, in a very personal way, to re-create moments that would otherwise be lost. like for example, i started wearing the escada summertime line (rockin' rio, sunset heat, etc.) during one of those times in my life when everything was giddy and ecstatic and meaningful. i subsequently made a connection between the smell of escada and my own happiness, which eventually turned into a morbid superstition that my life would turn to shit if i did not wear escada. (have i mentioned that i can be a bit dramatic at times?)
these days i do my best to avoid irrational superstitions. i have still however, maintained a great fascination with the concept of fragrance, and have continued to search for scents that make me swoon. so when i stumbled on the website for black phoenix alchemy lab it was pretty much infatuation from the gate.
black phoenix alchemy lab, or bpal as it's affectionately referred to by it's devotees, is a company that hand blends scented oils to create fragrances like no other. with names that run the gammut from the mystical to the taboo to the downright creepy, and scent descriptions that read like softcore porn, they go beyond the world of perfume and into that creative territory known as art. what can i say? i'm weak for this kind of this shit.
apparently, i'm not the only one who feels this way. there is an entire forum dedicated to discussing and analyzing the intricacies of these unique scents, complete with reviews, reccomendations and bottle swaps. at first glance, it may seem a bit obsessive to some folks, but considering that i make a respectable living off sniffing an entirely different kind of bottle, it makes perfect sense to me.
it's been said that each blend changes depending on the body chemistry of the person who's wearing it, in addition to numerous other factors such as time of the month and bottle age. i think perhaps, that this is what attracts me the most; the idea that each scent is highly personal and completely unique. i've tried a handful of scents, and i don't love them all. but the ones that i do love smell like they were made specifically for me. (so far, to my nose, bon vivant, shattered, and queen mab smell like a fucking orgasm in a church.)
these fragrances are so much more than just pretty smells. they're scents that tell a story, that have something to say, that evoke an emotion or a memory and isn't that what we're all looking for in a perfume? a scent that defines who we are, that sends a message to those around us? these are scents that make people feel something.

love always

cheesy song AND a cheesy boy crush

um, so i'd kinda be down to fuck lil' wayne. you know, like, if i was given the chance or whatever. i mean, admitting to this does make me feel like a pedophile and all, but there's just something about him.....

like when i first heard that young money song, i was all enraged like who the fuck do you think you are trying to fuck every single girl in the world?! that's just gross!!! but then i heard that part where lil' wayne's all like anyway, i think you're bionic and i don't think you're beautiful, i think you're beyond it, and i just melted. i couldn't help it. dude is charming. he probably could fuck every girl in the world and i'd be in line right behind the rest of 'em.

love always

holy hangover!!!!!!

last night was steff's birthday party! And......
i can't tell you much more about it because within like, the first hour i got stupid drunk off of a combination of red wine, spiked punch, beer and sweet tea vodka. yum!
i did however, discover that apparently people actually check this thing! so i'd like to take a moment and appreciate my loyal readers

the amazing thing about this picture is that vinnie was looking away when i took it, but somehow managed to look back and vogue for me as soon as he saw the flash.

and of course, the lovely amy who also gets her nails did at palm nails.

thanks for reading guys!


love always

k, i'm done now

i've realized that the monogomaus relationship with writing about puerto rico that i've committed myself to is not really working out. frankly, i'm just not ready settle down like that. maybe someday i'll write a fucking book about it, but for now, i need to be free to explore my blogging options and write about whatever i damn well please.
perhaps in the future we'll get back together, or maybe we'll enjoy a couple of one-night stands when i'm feeling particularly sentimental about it. i'm not sure that i'm ready to let it go completely....
for now, in the interest of having some closure here's some pretty pictures of what we did.
our hotel again, but seriously, that shit was beautiful.

this is me on the previously discussed horse, of which my bar patrons are so envious.

the cemetery. in puerto rico it's important to have sauvidad even in the after life.

bananas plus crazy looking tropical flower, and this is just in fluff's abuela's backyard.

vieques. sometimes i wonder if i dreamed this part.

yup, it's the jungle! but it's also fluff's other abuela's backyard.

okay, now onto more relevant topics....

love always