Thursday, November 27, 2008

giving thanks

the idea of thanksgiving is a little crazy to me. it's like, let's set aside one day out of every year to think about what we're thankful for so that on the other 364 days we can continue whining and complaining and not feel guilty about it. the idea of giving thanks seems kind of too basic to me for there to be a holiday in honor of it. in my world every day is thanksgiving.
there is however, one thanksgiving tradition that i am sooo down with, and that would be the eating. every year i get good and drunkie on the eve of giving thanks because it's not the same without a hangover. i mean, all that butter/gravy/stuffing can be too intense if you're not really craving something good and fatty to soak up an excess of alcohol. plus, when the tryptophan in the turkey mixes with your leftover drunk it's like the nicest, most comfy-cozy laid back feeling you will get all year.
now that is something to be truly thankful for.

love always

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

check it out, i'm like a hotter version of roger ebert

Is it just me, or are the harry potter movies getting harder to watch lately because dan radcliffe is turning into such a dreamboat? i saw the preview for half-blood prince last night and all i could think was "damn, would it be kinda sick for a twenty-four year old chick to bang an eighteen year old boy?" The one other thing that stood out for me, aside from potter's extreme fuckability is the fact that the guy who plays slughorn is the same guy who played zidler in moulin rouge, which is exciting to me because it feels like two things i really love (harry potter + moulin rouge) got together and made a baby or something.

okay, speaking of moulin rouge, can anyone guess what movie i'm dying to see even more than half-blood prince? Yup, that would be australia, the other movie that's directed by baz luhrman and stars nicole kidman. all i have to say is, it's about time baz! i've been waiting for you to put out a new movie since i was sixteen! i'm not even exagerating.

also, i finally saw twilight and can someone please explain to me why robert pattinson sounds like a greaser throughout the whole movie. hello, edward, this is twilight not the outsiders. even better, someone please explain to me why i find this kind of charming...

love always

Monday, November 24, 2008

aww, poor baby kanye needs a hug

dear mr. west,
have you been reading my diary to find out that my entire life's purpose is to watch cocky, arrogant motherfuckers (such as yourself) get their hearts broken and turn into whiny, little bitches, because seriously, your new album just gave me a hard on.
i should have known that you were headed to emoville as soon as you remixed fallout boy, but i never would have imagined you'd be so damn good at it.
i kind of secretly hope that since so many boys seem to idolize you so much maybe they'll follow your example and actually let themselves feel some feelings for once.
congratulations on finally putting out an album that you actually deserve to be so fucking pleased with yourself over, and by the way, if you need some assistance (wink, wink) getting over all the nasty things that bad woman did to you, feel free to hit me up.

love always

Monday, November 10, 2008

twilight is the new danielle steele

someone find me a vampire boyfriend, like, immediately. i'm attempting to read twilight and it's driving me fucking insane.
i cannot even wait for the movie to come out, especially because the boy who plays edward is an uber-hottie. i will probably have to bring a mini vibrator to the movie theater though, so i don't lose my mind for real.
or maybe i'll just bring a hot date instead....

love always

Friday, November 7, 2008

it's 8 o'clock on friday and i'm already hungover

sometime around one this afternoon, i came to a very important and wholly unexpected conclusion: i love my job.
about six months ago i was promoted within my company to the position of wine sales rep. i had been dreaming about having this job for a seriously long time, so naturally i was thrilled when i first found out, but to be totally honest, the past six months have been kind of the hugest letdown of my entire life. supplying shitty package stores with boxes of franzia wasn't nearly as glamorous as i had expected.
this week was the absolute pinnacle of my job's shitiness. it was so stressful that i've actually been considering a career change, but that all changed when i met matias.
matias is this semi-adorable edward norton look-alike who supplies my company with pommery champagne. supposedly, the entire rest of the world thinks of pommery the way that we, in america, think of veuve cliquot or dom perignon; as the height of luxury and the emodiment of good taste. i had never tasted pommery before, but i was immediately drawn to the packaging on their new POP label.
we started with the brut royale, then moved on the rose, the new, modern POP line, and then, the highlight of my entire wine-drinking career, the cuvee louise. i've had champagne before, and i've been slightly impressed, but from the very first sip of this stuff, i was hooked.
something in the traditional champagne bouquet always throws me off. some people describe the nose as being "yeasty", which never seemed all that appealing to me. in this line however, i found the scent to be alluring, intoxicating even. as we moved into the higher end bottlings something clicked in my brain. this wine smells like seashells, like the ocean, like everything i loved about being fifteen years old.
when we tasted the cuvee louise, i literally had tears in my eyes (i was a bit drunk by this point, mind you). i was seriously moved by how good this wine tasted. i'm talking praline, hazlenut, rose petals, and of course that briny seashell bouquet. it reminded of why i wanted to sell wine in the first place.
who else in the entire world gets to start off their weekend drinking exquisite two-hundred-dollar-a-bottle champagne and getting paid for it?
trust me, i'm done complaining.

love always

Thursday, November 6, 2008

north end mexican

here is the best advice i can give you:
go out and get super-trashed with your friends. you don't have to throw up, but make sure you have a hangover the next day. once you are good and hungover, head over to iguanas ranas taqueria on main street and order a torta. watching your hangover dissapear more completely with every bite that you take of this amazing culinary creation is seriously the most satisyingly grimey experience you will ever have.
the torta is a mexican sandwich, and there are only two words in the world which can adequately describe it: huge and delicious. they serve it on the most ginormous roll i've ever laid eyes on, and then they fill it up with as much shit as they can possibly fit on it. refried black beans, your choice of meat, cheese, lettuce, tomato, salsa fresca and chipotle mayonaisse.
you won't finish it, i promise, but you will try because once you taste this most amazing of sandwiches you will never want to do anything else besides eat it, all day, every day.
also, the gorditas and tamales are kick-ass.

love always

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

my oval office fantasy come true

remember when monica lewinsky sucked bill clinton's dick?
i do, because it was right around that time that my sassy grandma traumatized me for life by stating, at the dinner table "i don't blame her! i would've done the same damn thing! that bill clinton is handsome!" Thanks grandma, for the mental picture.
however awkward that moment may have been, i'm very grateful that i can finally relate to my grandmother's sick desire to bang our president. obama is a fucking fox.

okay, okay, all kidding aside, i must say that i'm truly thrilled about obama's victory last night. not only because he is an uber-hottie, but also because i'm proud of my country for coming together to make this happen. the amount of enthusiasm over this election has been incredibly moving and nothing short of inspiring.

i hope that in the coming months we do not all lose site of the fact that we, the people of the united states of america, have made this happen, and that if we wish to continue creating change we must remain focused, informed and active.

congratulations obama, and congratulations america!

love always

Sunday, November 2, 2008

because i'm worth it

my ass smells like orange blossoms.
i'm not even kidding you, it really does.
allow me to explain:
as soon as it starts getting chilly in good ole connecticut, my body protests. my skin literally shrivels up and threatens to flake off. i itch all day every day, especially my ass. maybe cuz it's so big and fleshy. i'm not really sure.
in any case, my one saving grace is pacifica.
pacifica is a fragrance company founded by a bad-ass surfer chick. they make candles, soap, perfumes, and the absolute best body butter in the whole world, which in the wintertime i slather all over my parched booty.
today i used the nerola orange blossom, but seriously there is not one scent in this entire collection that i wouldn't wear. everything this woman makes smells like some deeply repressed memory from a past life. completely and totally fucking delicious.
even better, every single one of pacifica's products is eco friendly and all natural. so show yourself some love by heading over to http://www.pacificaperfumes.com/ and spending an extravagant amount of money on something seriously indulgent.
you so deserve it.

love always