um, wtf, i'm really confused. i thought that twilight was supposed to be about sparkly, angsty abstinence. now that the dvd's about to come out, i feel like it's turning all sodom and gomorrah on me.
like the other day, steff and i went to hot topic to buy green hair extensions for st. patrick's day, and the guy at the checkout totally tried to hard-sell me on pre-ordering the dvd so i could get an invitation to the exclusive hot topic twilight release party. when i told him that i didn't want to be the oldest person there he got all defensive and said i'd be surprised how many people my age would be there. i still declined, politely i might add, but then his friend jumped in and said that i'd be missing out because there was gonna be a ventriloquist there with an edward puppet.
i've been having nightmares ever since.
then, i saw a preview of one of the deleted scenes on the dvd, and it's so awkwardly sexual that i felt like i was watching a porno. basically what happens is, bella's all like "hey edward, want a taste?", then she proceeds to finger-bang his mouth while he tries not to eat her fucking hand off. that shit isn't even right.
then, worst of all, i heard about how edward ( i mean robert pattinson) plays salvador dali in a gay porn.
wait, what? was dali even gay?
i'm alternately dying to see it and trembling in fear.
seriously though, does anyone else find it ironic that stephanie meyer's horny, mormon ass accidentally created such a sexual phenomenon?
love always
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