something must be done

caprese salads get on my fucking nerves. don't get me wrong, i'm fully aware that the combination of tomato, mozzarella and basil can be absolutely sublime. it's just that when your restaurant is still serving this dish in the dead of winter, with pale, grainy beefsteak tomatoes and chewy, leathery old mozzarella, i think you're kind of missing the point.
still people insist on ordering this shit. trust me, we serve it at my job. what's even worse is when people add other stuff to it. like on our menu, you can add chicken, shrimp, salmon or scallops to any of our salads, and people order the caprese salad with scallops! i'm not even kidding you. in fact, on my first day of work i asked one of the other servers what i should order and she actually suggested this very combination to me!
i ordered it like she told me to because i'm a pussy and i hate to make other people feel bad, but the whole time i kept thinking damn these scallops would taste pretty blazin' if i didn't have all this tomato obstructing the flavor. i don't know what it is, but i just happen to think that tomatoes bring out the worst in seafood.
still, people continue to order this horrid concoction. my guess is that they love the cheese. i mean, we rarely see fresh mozarella offered in any other incarnation. so here's my solution:
first buy the best mozarella you can get your hands on. how will you know which one is the best? easy. it's the one that traveled the least amount of miles to get to you.
next, sear some sacllops in a super hot pan with just a microscopic drizzle of olive oil. i like a nice brown crust on my scallops, but you can cook them for as long or as little as you like. also, size does not matter as much as you think it does when it comes to scallops. the little guys are just as tasty as those ginormous monsters that cost a fortune.
once your scallops are cooked to your liking, splash some olive oil onto a plate and place your scallops on top. break off a chunk of mozzarella and put that on the plate too. top it all of with some lovely avocado slices, as avocado pairs beautifully with both mozarella and seafood. sprinkle some sea salt and lemon and you're good.
so much better than that crap you've been paying ten bucks a plate for at the faux-italian restaurant down the street....despite the fact that i work there.

love always