half of me is the gasoline, but the other half's the surf

When Vampire Weekend first came out, I thought they sounded like a bunch of pussywhipped bitches. I'm not even sure which song of theirs I listened to that gave me that impression, but for some reason, it stuck with me. That is of course, until I moved to California and I kept hearing this cute little song on the radio about drinking horchata. When I found out it was by Vampire Weekend I kind of felt like a huge d-bag for liking it so much, but I got over that pretty quickly, especially when they came out with a video starring not only my boyfriend Joe Jonas, but also my husband, Rza.

A few weeks ago they played a show here in Oakland at the Fox . Even though I've totally come to terms with just how much I like them, I was not expecting them to sound as mindblowingly good as they did. I read an interview with them once where they said their album Contra is about California, and holy fuck, they got it so, so right. The set they played sounded like everything beautiful about living here.




When they left the stage, they had the audience straight-up begging for an encore. Like, I felt like if they didn't come out and play another song, I might lose my shit temper-tantrum style.




Afterwards, we were super hyped, with no desire to go home at all, so we hit up the afterparty, for major debauchery, including a sick DJ set from the band (no lie, they played Don't You Want Me by Human Leauge - my favorite 80s jam ever!), and thus commenced the absolute drunkest Monday evening I think I've ever had.






By the end of the night, after dancing our asses off like rockstars, we were in total groupie mode, shamelessly begging the boys in the band to let us accompany them back to their hotel (I am all about the hot gay one), but alas, they drove off in their Honda Element, leaving us stone cold!




A few days later, I received word that some pictures of my friends and I had popped up on a local website.





Of course I am looking all bedraggled and busted like I'm about to fall flat on my face (fucking paparazzi!), but really, we're just having waaay too much fun!

sigh. such is the price to pay for a life of excitement and glamour.

love always
p.s. Thanks to the lovely and talented Ash for taking so many beautiful pictures!

i have a new girlcrush

i went to see beyonce on thursday night, and i must tell you, she was so insanely good. i'd never really given her a second thought before. i admired the fact that she has always been fearless about flaunting her curves, and i assumed that she must have a big heart to be able to get past the fact that jay-z is hands down, the ugliest human being on earth (no matter how rich and talented he is). i kept a few of her songs on my ipod for those days when i felt like being super girly, but would have never considered myself an actual fan.
then, by some brilliant stroke of luck, i somehow managed an invite to the super-special, private, vip party thrown by moet in the top box. in all honesty, i could have been seeing fucking nickelback and i probably would've still loved it because of a). the amount of champagne involved and b). the idea of being glared at enviously by the paltry masses who had to sit in regular old seats. if i had been able to figure out how to use the camera on my new phone, i would now be bombarding you with pictures of my insane glamouressness.
on the other hand, i think i would've been pretty floored by beyonce even if i was sitting in the worst seat in the house behind some fat, drunk guy who smelled like ass. the second that she came out, she owned that entire stadium. something about her energy is just larger than life. she had about eight million costume changes and everytime she left the stage you could literally feel her absence. when she smiled, i could see it from all the way up where i was sitting and it made me want to smile too.
her stage show, with all it's glitter and costumes and special effects felt like something i would've dreamed up as a little girl. she looked unapolagetically gorgeous, with all this fake wind blowing her long hair around, and she danced flawlessly the whole time in high heels. it was so over-the-top fabulous that i felt like i had been sucked into some kind of super-girly alternate universe (this is where i think all the moet had a big influence).

and that's the other thing, her performance was so female-centric and y'all just know how i go weak in the knees for the super-feminine. every single musician on her stage (all eight-hundred of them) was female and she made a point of mentioning that to the audience. she sang songs about loving yourself, being proud of your accomplishments, not needing anyone or anything else to survive. i think it was during the part where she asked the audience to sing irreplaceable when i realized that i was surrounded by a sold-out stadium full of girls all singing about how they don't need a man and feeling totally empowered by that.
it occured to me then, that beyonce is more than just a pop singer. she's a feminist icon, making room in this world for more girls to be sexy, glamorous, succesful, proud of the bodies that they were born with and still maintain their dignity, class and self-respect. how often does she mention the fact that she makes her own money without ever relying on a man? i never really noticed before, but it's like every two seconds. that is the message that i want my unborn daughters to hear; go out in the world and make your own way, so that you can make your own rules.


as you can probably tell, i left this show feeling so inspired, so empowered, so reassured and validated, that in the course of the past twenty-four hours i have become beyonce obsessive. songs that used to sound like pop fluff to me, now sound like pure musical genius for no other reason than that they make me feel good. and everyone knows that the world could certainly use a little more of that.

love always

fancy footwork

for some reason they were playing this video at my gym today and i couldn't help but swoon over these amazing moves:

i've had a thing for mr. pop since i was a kid and my momma used to lay in front of the stereo and daydream while listening to candy, which is totally my favorite song ever. in fact, i have this crazy fantasy where i meet my soulmate and the only way i know he's my soulmate is because he knows all the words to that song and we totally sing it together just like in a musical.

R.I.P. M.J.

i was never a huge fan of michael jackson to be honest. when i was a kid, the video for thriller scared the bejesus out of me and i never quite forgave him for that. i do, however, have fond memories of this:

best dance video ever made!!!!!!!!! those who dare to disagree with me can kick rocks.


love always

p.s. - i totally forgot that eddie murphy was in this video, which makes it even better.

cheesy song AND a cheesy boy crush

um, so i'd kinda be down to fuck lil' wayne. you know, like, if i was given the chance or whatever. i mean, admitting to this does make me feel like a pedophile and all, but there's just something about him.....

like when i first heard that young money song, i was all enraged like who the fuck do you think you are trying to fuck every single girl in the world?! that's just gross!!! but then i heard that part where lil' wayne's all like anyway, i think you're bionic and i don't think you're beautiful, i think you're beyond it, and i just melted. i couldn't help it. dude is charming. he probably could fuck every girl in the world and i'd be in line right behind the rest of 'em.

love always

karen o. is the new siouxsie sioux

can someone please explain to me why karen o. wasted everyone's time moaning and groaning like a cat in heat on 2003's fever to tell, when underneath all that racket, she totally had it in herself to be this androgynous, avant-garde disco-queen?
on songs like zero and heads will roll, she totally reminds me of siouxsie sioux, who is like the queen supreme of androgynous, avant-garde disco.
clearly, i'm into it.

love always

rock n roll is back from the dead

seriously folks, when was the last time you heard a good rock record? not pop-rock, not emo-rock, not even 80s hair band rock, but just good old alternative rock. i'm willing to bet that it was sometime in the 90s, as evidenced by the fact that "modern rock" stations are still playing nirvana every two seconds.
if you, like me, are infinitely irritated by this, you'll be happy to hear that metric's new album fantasies is a sprawling, guitar-driven masterpiece that is, in my opinion, capable of reviving an almost extinct genre. i'm talking about catchy hooks, pounding drums, and of course, dirty, grimey distorted guitars. the cherry on top is emily haines' appealingly careless vocals, an ever-so-slightly-flat sing-song that says i'm way too cool to give a shit whether or not my pitch is perfect.
lyrically, this album is among the most intense i've heard. in my opinion rock lyrics have suffered possibly more than any other aspect of the genre. when rockers started disowning the emotion behind the music, they forced it, like any thing that is stifled, to emerge in disturbing forms, such as slit-your-wrists emo, or whiny, creed-esque country rock (shudder). it seems that nowadays it's considered hip to remain emotionally distant from the music you write.
while the lyrics to these songs do border on the enigmatic, they still contain enough raw emotional substance to truly hit home. whether on the glittery, creeptastic satelite mind, or in the animal orgy/throwdown of stadium love, these songs pack a punch while still managing to leave plenty of space for the listeners own interpretation. to me, this an album about what happens at 4 am in the dessert, but i highly doubt that anyone else has made the same connection. in a way, that makes it even more special to me, because my understanding of it is so highly personal.
this is, perhaps what i like best about this album. it is what you make of it. these are the kind of songs that encourage you to think, to imagine, to become inspired. (i took out my guitar for the first time in years, just to attempt to learn gimme sympathy so that i could play it for fluff.) in this way, metric has taken it way back, to the root of everything. fantasies is what rock n roll dreams are made of.

love always

p.s.- there's even acoustic versions of some of the songs. how fucking rock n roll is that?

really cheesy songs i like, part deux

in order to tell you about this amazing piece of musical genius, i have to make a confession.
i'm twenty-four years old and i watch the disney channel .
yes, yes, i know this may seem a bit immature, but in my defense it was fluff who got me hooked on it, and like many things that i enjoy, it's harmless and comforting.
now that that's off my chest, i can tell you that the other day i was watching disney, when i saw the video for the new demi lovato song and immediately fell in love. it's called "don't forget" and it's so simple that even i could probably figure out how to play it on the guitar.
i have a love-hate relationship with demi lovato. she's like the ghost of what i thought i wanted to be when i grew up. she's so fucking pretty. and she's young. and her voice sounds the way mine used to sound before i smoked cigarettes for ten years. even more jealousy-inspiring is the fact that she got to star in camp rock. i seriously would've given up my pinky finger for that part.
in any case, here's another confession:
i actually bought the cd from itunes. i liked the song so much that i couldn't even wait to download it illegaly, so i went out and purchased the damn thing. i've been listening to it non-stop ever since.

love always

welcome to really cheesy songs i like

today, i'll be discussing "thinking of you". ya know, that song where katy perry does a frighteningly accurate impersonation of alanis morisette?

i think the reason i like it so much is because the subject matter adresses my most biggest fear at the moment; banging someone new only to find out that your ex was really way better. since i absolutely refuse to download anything by katy perry, i only ever listen to this song in the car. when it comes on the radio, you can generally find me white-knuckling my steering wheel and shaking in terror, with just the faintest sparkle of a tear at the corner of my eye. i know this sounds a bit unpleasant, but it's actually a weird, sort of adrenaline rush type thing, like how people watch horror movies because they kinda like being scared.

in any case, way to go katy perry! you've actually made a song that doesn't make me wanna rip out your vocal chords on behalf of all womankind.

love always

p.s. check out the video as well, in which ms. perry pretends that her ex is dead, as if the song isn't about her being a foolish slut. really katy, i can relate to the foolish slut thing, the dead boyfriend, not so much.

growing pains

a few days ago, i was peeing in my friend steff's bathroom, when the most recent issue of spin caught my eye. i picked it up, intrigued by the image on the cover; an impossibly skinny brunette, with a gawdy hairpiece and loads of makeup.


"who the fuck is this?!" i asked of steff


"lily allen" she answered.


i looked at the magazine again, comparing the porcelain doll on the cover to my mind's image of what lily allen is supposed to look like.


"why'd she lose so much weight?" is all i could think to say.


"she's really insecure" steff answered "she talks about it in the interview. it kinda made me like her more"





a few days later, i downloaded her new album it's not me, it's you. to be honest i was still a bit distressed by that photograph. since when did lily allen so uncanilly resemble katy perry? i loved her in her prom dress and sneakers, and i wanted her to stay that way.


listening to the album, i felt the same way all over again. i had become addicted to alright still after a traumatic breakup. every song was a gem, with some fantastically clever line hidden in the center. i had loved how simple and blunt and bratty it all was. on the new album, everything sounds shiny and glittery and polished.


in short, it bothered me. in fact, it bothered me so much that i felt compelled to listen to the album for as many times as it took for me to figure out why exactly it was so bothersome. it seemed most apparent on songs like not fair and never gonna happen. the kind of boy-bashing anthems that made alright still such a fun album in the first place. they were missing something. a spark, a flame, an emotion, anything. then it occured to me: she's lost her swagger.


immediately, i fashed back to what steff had said about how insecure she was and it all made sense. i've been through the same exact thing. you think you're tough shit, and then for whatever reason you fall off and you keep trying to get back up again, but it's lost. you can't repeat being naive enough to feel invincible, no matter how hard you try.

then again, who would want to? what lily allen seems to be experiencing is that heartwrenching process we like to call growing up and when taken for what it is, it's not me, it's you is a painfully accurate documentation of that. on everyone's at it she dissects that moment when drugs start to look gross rather than glamorous. chinese finds her playing house, and actually preferring it to all the hustle and bustle of her celebrity lifestyle. and in back to the start she reaches new levels of maturity by admitting to a friend that she acted like a catty bitch because she was jealous.



i still think that the dry british humor she's so well known for is a bit lacking on this album, but on the whole, it's quite endearing, and more importantly, relatable.

so i guess i owe lily allen a big huge apology. i'm sorry it took me so long to accept the fact that you're growing up. all i can say in my defense is that it's taken me longer to accept the fact that i'm growing up as well. i guess we all are.

love always

ignorance is bliss

"Pop culture is art. It doesn't make you cool to hate pop culture, so i embraced it."
thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. finally, someone in this world understands how i feel.
for real, i am getting like, sooo sick of all these artsy folk who think they're sooo smart raining on my parade of guilty pleasures.
and really, if all my guilty pleasures did get together and have a parade, then leading it, on a big, sparkly float, in bondage gear, would be lady gaga. please don't judge me y'all, i have an incurable disease that mkes me addicted to female pop-stars who produce music for an audience of 99.9 percent gay dudes (a la madonna). also, her album the fame reminds of what it feels like to all of a sudden realize that you're young and attractive before real life catches up with you and you have to like, put your drink down and go do work or something.
alas, my partying days are over, but it's comforting to know that if i ever do miss them all i have to do is bump some lady gaga on the way to my accounts and pretend that i'll never grow up.

love always

aww, poor baby kanye needs a hug

dear mr. west,
have you been reading my diary to find out that my entire life's purpose is to watch cocky, arrogant motherfuckers (such as yourself) get their hearts broken and turn into whiny, little bitches, because seriously, your new album just gave me a hard on.
i should have known that you were headed to emoville as soon as you remixed fallout boy, but i never would have imagined you'd be so damn good at it.
i kind of secretly hope that since so many boys seem to idolize you so much maybe they'll follow your example and actually let themselves feel some feelings for once.
congratulations on finally putting out an album that you actually deserve to be so fucking pleased with yourself over, and by the way, if you need some assistance (wink, wink) getting over all the nasty things that bad woman did to you, feel free to hit me up.

love always

holy eargasm! bloc party's new album is so fucking good i can't even stand it

seriously people, don't expect to see me out anytime soon. i have found a fabulous new reason to stay in and dance around in my underwear:

bloc party's new album intimacy.
i think that the official release date is like, tomorrow or something, but i would not encourage anyone to wait that long. if you can get your hands on it right now, than by all means, do so. it's just fucking rich. i honestly can't think of another word to describe it. the fast songs will make you wanna dance and the slower songs are perfect for romantic daydreaming, and kele okereke sings so good that i wanna quit my job and just be his groupie forever.

now, i know i may appear to be musically obsessed. i've been writing about music waaaay more than i ever intended to, but here's the deal; i'm a songs girl. i generally pick out one song by a band and love it to death. it is fucking rare that i love an entire album, but this one just does it for me in a big, big way. i would even go so far as to call it life-changing.
so for that i'd like to mentally send a huge, sloppy, wet, thank you kiss to anyone and everyone who created, inspired or contributed to this beautiful piece of art.

love always

the best part of any sappy movie is the soundtrack

i have made a vow to myself to keep this blog light and cheerful. the last thing i want to do is bore anyone with incessant, whiny self-pity (i do enough of that in my real life, thank you very much). that being said, i have to confess that i'm going through a pretty emotional time and for the past couple of days i've been pretty much a walking puddle of tears. however, this has allowed to me to engage in one of my absolute most favorite, self-indulgent, post-breakup practices: listening to the mushiest, gushiest, most heart-wrenchingly sappy songs, preferably while crying and driving simultaneously. so, more than anything right now i want to share with you my top picks for what to listen to when you feel like wallowing in despair.



keane- a bad dream

i first heard this song on scrubs, in the episode where laverne dies, and to be honest, i don't even like keane, but in the second chorus when the guy croons "..but i just feeel tooo tired", it sounds so genuine that i almost want to forgive him for the fact that the rest of his music blows ass.

amy winehouse- back to black
she may be a complete train wreck, but amy winehouse knows a thing or two about broken hearts. best to listen to this one drunk so you can fully understand where she's coming from.



damien rice- 9 crimes

seriously, be careful with this one, it might make you want to slit your wrists, or worse, call you ex. it's that depressing.



mariah carey- we belong together

such a classic! i heard this on the radio today and sang along like my life depended on it. it's especially satisfying if you can keep up with mimi during the fast parts without losing your breath.



miley cyrus- seven things

okay, this is officially the cheesiest of the cheesy and i feel like i should appologize for even mentioning it, but i had to because i'm a sucker for anything disney.

lily allen- littlest things
the best part of this song is when she says "[i remember] the first time that you introduced me to your friends and you could tell that i was nervous so you held my hand". it makes me lose it every single time.

and of course,

dashboard confessional- screaming infidelities
the rarest of indulgences, because this song is soooooo fucking pussy that if you listen to it while you're not actually in the throes of major heartache it might turn you gay.

ahhh, i feel better already.

love always