i have a new girlcrush

i went to see beyonce on thursday night, and i must tell you, she was so insanely good. i'd never really given her a second thought before. i admired the fact that she has always been fearless about flaunting her curves, and i assumed that she must have a big heart to be able to get past the fact that jay-z is hands down, the ugliest human being on earth (no matter how rich and talented he is). i kept a few of her songs on my ipod for those days when i felt like being super girly, but would have never considered myself an actual fan.
then, by some brilliant stroke of luck, i somehow managed an invite to the super-special, private, vip party thrown by moet in the top box. in all honesty, i could have been seeing fucking nickelback and i probably would've still loved it because of a). the amount of champagne involved and b). the idea of being glared at enviously by the paltry masses who had to sit in regular old seats. if i had been able to figure out how to use the camera on my new phone, i would now be bombarding you with pictures of my insane glamouressness.
on the other hand, i think i would've been pretty floored by beyonce even if i was sitting in the worst seat in the house behind some fat, drunk guy who smelled like ass. the second that she came out, she owned that entire stadium. something about her energy is just larger than life. she had about eight million costume changes and everytime she left the stage you could literally feel her absence. when she smiled, i could see it from all the way up where i was sitting and it made me want to smile too.
her stage show, with all it's glitter and costumes and special effects felt like something i would've dreamed up as a little girl. she looked unapolagetically gorgeous, with all this fake wind blowing her long hair around, and she danced flawlessly the whole time in high heels. it was so over-the-top fabulous that i felt like i had been sucked into some kind of super-girly alternate universe (this is where i think all the moet had a big influence).

and that's the other thing, her performance was so female-centric and y'all just know how i go weak in the knees for the super-feminine. every single musician on her stage (all eight-hundred of them) was female and she made a point of mentioning that to the audience. she sang songs about loving yourself, being proud of your accomplishments, not needing anyone or anything else to survive. i think it was during the part where she asked the audience to sing irreplaceable when i realized that i was surrounded by a sold-out stadium full of girls all singing about how they don't need a man and feeling totally empowered by that.
it occured to me then, that beyonce is more than just a pop singer. she's a feminist icon, making room in this world for more girls to be sexy, glamorous, succesful, proud of the bodies that they were born with and still maintain their dignity, class and self-respect. how often does she mention the fact that she makes her own money without ever relying on a man? i never really noticed before, but it's like every two seconds. that is the message that i want my unborn daughters to hear; go out in the world and make your own way, so that you can make your own rules.


as you can probably tell, i left this show feeling so inspired, so empowered, so reassured and validated, that in the course of the past twenty-four hours i have become beyonce obsessive. songs that used to sound like pop fluff to me, now sound like pure musical genius for no other reason than that they make me feel good. and everyone knows that the world could certainly use a little more of that.

love always