sometimes you just know

ahh, what a crazy, mixed-up world we live in. nothing is ever as it seems, at least for any fixed length of time. things change and evolve, shifting shape right before your very eyes just when you think you've got it all figured out. sometimes a situation can seem so certain, so right, so meant to be and then wham! out of nowhere mercury retrograde comes sweeping through in all it's stubborn reluctance to let go of the past and you're left standing in the ruins of what you thought was a really fucking good idea.
such is the nature of things, and also, exactly what happened to me this past week. i waited so long and i was so cautious, taking care not to jinx any opportunities or count my eggs before they hatched, but still it all went up in flames and now i'm left confused and uncertain, trying to make sense of a situation that's been blown completely out of my control. what can you do in times like these but sit and wait? try and be still and listen to your heart.
when i flew to san francisco a few weeks ago, i believed i was going to there to make an impression, to influence a decision. instead, what i discovered while i was there is that the decision does not truly matter. while it may be difficult to discern underneath the fear and uncertainty about what my future holds, there is one thing my heart knows for sure; i absolutely adore the entire bay area.

every time i leave, i tell myself that i imagined it. that no place in the world is truly as magical as i remember that place being, that i'm embellishing the memory. but no, at this point i truly don't think i am. this past visit, while cruising around berkeley and trying to get a feel for my new home, i stumbled, literally stumbled, onto this amazing treasure trove: a farmer's market, the likes of which i have never even imagined here in CT. trust me when i tell you, it makes my beloved whole foods look like a joke.
tomatoes, like jewels in every shape, size and color imaginable

squash that look like spaceships and a completely new discovery, the lemon cucumber!

a rainbow of peppers that you could literally smell like, a block away.

after the farmer's market, in need of refreshment, we stopped at the nearest coffee shop/bakery. forgive me, i can't remember the name, but it was really the most adorable thing.

we ordered iced coffee and a pistachio macaroon!!!!


the macaroon was perfect! floaty and sugary on the outside with a layer of creamy goodness in the middle.

yup! it was the macaroon that made my mind up for me. this is the place i wanna live.

love always